To me, this is a really important part of the inquiry’s I share.
Why? Well, firstly because, without relationship, we would not exist. We relate in some way to everything!
I have also been around a lot of ‘spiritual’ communities, guru’s and visionaries who rely on the codependence of their followers for their own benefit. They can gain their authority from the lack of discernment and self knowledge of those who ‘need’ them. I don’t want to perpetuate this cycle. (I must say this isn’t true of every guru / spiritual community / visionary – there are some out there with integrity – it’s just I’ve seen enough to note it here.)
Through my own journey I have learned a lot about healthy relating through unhealthy relating. I have come up against walls and met parts of myself I didn’t like and, over and over again, I learn that fighting those parts doesn’t work – it’s only through fully accepting every aspect of my being, really getting to know myself, that the foundation for transmutation can take place…
Healthy relating is about being aware of how we are relating. Essentially, its foundation lies in self awareness and the motives, themes and archetypes that can play themselves out when we come into relationship with another.
It’s not necessarily about changing anything, rather becoming aware of what is present and, through awareness, witnessing and being seen, offering a space for whatever is present to simply be. The rest happens by itself.
The field of healthy relating offers a space for the bodymind to reveal to itself whatever it is ready to process within that moment.
It can be easy to avoid our shadows and issues when we isolate ourselves from others. Through coming into relationship and consciously practicing relating in a healthy way – to ourselves and others, we can develop the capacity to behold ourselves and each other in a more holistic, kind and realistic way.