I love this quote below. It is so beautiful.
‘Study me as much as you like,you will never know me, for I differ a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes, and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see’
So often our perception can be based around ideas we have about what others are thinking / feeling. Our relationships can be so much built upon projection through fear if facing what is really there. We can fall into pretending, trying to please others by living up to who we think they want us to be instead of being ourselves. In doing this we override our intuition and inner truth at the same time as denying the other the choice to be truly with us as we are.
When we choose to shine as our authentic self, we offer freedom to the relationship. Freedom for growth, movement and choice.living in this way can brung up fear at first. Living in this way, we courageously step into the unknown in each moment. We open ourselves up to rejection, loneliness and fear of abandonment
However, at the same time, through our radical and compassionate honesty, we open ourselves up to attracting relationships into our lives that thrive through clear and open communication, that are willing to see things as they are with a mutual dedication towards personal growth, embodiment and unfolding. We open ourselves up for greater intimacy and deeper connections with each other in all forms of our relationships. We can’t expect this from others but we can develop these qualities in ourselves and choose relationships that support and nurture and reflect our own inner dedication to presence.
So much conflict and tension can arise internally and in relationships because of presumptions we make about each other based on our personal history and past traumas. Truly, we cannot presume to know what another is thinking or feeling.
What we can do is trust fully what we know to be true for ourselves, own it, and then share our experiences with others in open, conscious, compassionate communication. Sharing without blaming or shaming, but taking responsibility for ourselves and allowing others to take responsibility for themselves.
Through acknowledging what is there and being brave enough to fully feel and BE with it, the judgement, the concept can drop away and we can become present. And, from the space of presence, the energy is freed up and can move and take shape. Then we can dance together, free from our limiting ideas. Yet, we cannot truly dance together until we have recognised and truly seen the concepts that contain us in the light of compassionate, unconditional awareness. As the old saying goes;
‘You cannot heal what you cannon feel.’
It takes courage. It takes dedication. It takes allowing ourselves to feel into our vulnerabilities and allow them to be seen, truly seen. It takes the willingness to love and accept all parts of ourselves, and others, all the ways that the infinite potential of life can move through us – which isn’t always pretty.
Embracing all of it, then the energy that is free from conditions can be experienced to its core. It is no different from anything else. It is only the preference for one feeling over another at the surface level that sets these feelings apart. This is not to say that we should deliberately walk head first into our own destruction because it is no different from the constructive aspects of ourselves. But it is to say that when difficult feelings or situations arise, internally or in relationship, if we can feel it to it’s core, then there is great potential in everything. Inner alchemy can occur and the energy move and can become useful rather than overwhelming and defeating.
We can dot it! Let’s practice together, with each other. Let’s cultivate an abundance of compassion, patience, space holding skills, integrity, understanding and authentic relating.
Here is my personal prayer in relation to this…
May I be aware of judgemental thoughts towards myself and others. May I embrace them with the love and understanding of choiceless wisdom.
May I turn towards and not run away.
May I communicate kindly and compassionately.
May I understand that it is never personal.
May I always remember that this too shall pass. That this, too, is another form of the infinite passing through me. That this, too, shall offer me a deeper understanding, shall bring me to a greater space of intimacy with myself and others, shall, in essence, bring me closer to YOU.
It’s all part of the dance.
Will you dance with me?